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Search Engine Results Summary: this should be fun

February 6, 2012

This seemed like a fun thing to do with der blog since I’m not quite back to slapping on my face on the daily.

A while ago I was checking the stats page on WordPress (don’t judge me) and noticed there were a few results that I got on a consistent basis.

The Nice:  When I looked through the complete list of search engine terms I found that over a third of all of the search-engine hits on this blog come from variations on these phrases:

  • fyrinnae lip lustre swatches
  • zomg smells
  • concrete minerals swatches
I’m kind of happy about this because I kind of like swatching and reviewing things and sharing fun independent companies with the world.  When I ordered from indie MMU companies I almost always relied on blogger swatches to figure out what I wanted, and when no swatches were available for a particular company it was tempting to say “screw it” and flop around doing other things.

The Strange:  I don’t know if I understand these.

  • orion constellation tattoo
  • open minded skanky hoe
  • yiss
  • poop candy pants
  • donkey poop (what is it with these people and poop?)
  • dragon rides
  • earl stuffington (new cat name)
  • friggin happiness fairy
  • brown fox baby hide (wtf)
  • movie brown unicorn (something about the color brown, I guess)
The “HOLY SHIT CREEPER ALERT”:  I hope nobody out there is wanking to closeup shots of my eyeballs.
  • lipstick blowjob (10 results)
  • sexy freckle (4)
  • lipstick sucking (4)
  • sucking curves (3)
  • hand fingers woman girl (3)
  • meat boner warm love  (3)
  • super tight skirt chubby (2)
  • creamy tits.gif (2)
  • sexy nice legs (2)
  • white bare skin (2)
The extra creepy part?  20% of all search directs are from unknown search terms, which (according to WP) are predominantly due to privacy settings that help users conceal their questionable internet activities.  So someone could be looking up “unicorn earhole butter gangbang” and getting sent here for all of their creepy fantastical bestiality desires.
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3 Comments leave one →
  1. February 6, 2012 4:45 pm

    This is quite creepy, yet absolutely hilarious at the same time!

    • thecandiedmango permalink*
      February 6, 2012 6:41 pm

      I think the most creepylarious was a tie between ‘white bare skin’ and the chubby-skirt one. It’s just like… who goes searching for pornography and comes here? Why would that seem like a good idea? This is “Clever Endeavor”, not “Sexy Oil-Slicked Babes” or something.

  2. February 7, 2012 3:26 pm

    This is fucking hilarious.

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